Hey,
If you’ve been following Sarah for a while, you know she’s got quite a way with words.
We called her the ✨word wizard✨ around these parts.
Last week she shared a copywriting rewrite to help one of our Gather members, Mariya, get more clients for her B2B content agency–– and I know the learnings might be helpful for you as well.
She breaks everything down in this short video:
Mariya had written a few headlines but just couldn’t find one that sticks.
With a little guidance from Sarah, Mariya was able to take her homepage copy from this:
To this:
Let me show you how she did it:
What are decision makers usually measured on? Revenue. Sales. Customer growth. Pinpoint what they're looking for, and call it out directly in your headline.
Speak directly to the buyer using "you" language, so it feels like a natural conversation.
Kalyna Marketing is specifically focused on quality content, so we put that right in the descriptor copy.
We included the specific niche Kalyna is targeting— technical B2B businesses, to help people who aren't their target customers self-select out.
Keep the CTA casual with details on what will happen when you press. I'd recommend this CTA going to a short form so you're not asking them to book a call on the spot. You could A/B test this in the future.
Here's what Mariya had to say after receiving Sarah's feedback:
"Sarah Stockdale this is incredible!!! So much better already. And the best part is... I can already see how to improve some of our other copy just jumping off of what you've done! You really are a fairy Godmother 🧚♀️ 🪄"
If you'd like to learn how to do this for yourself, you can join our upcoming Writing Circle that kicks off on March 6th.
In 4 weeks Sarah will teach you how to write content you’re really proud of, faster— with an inclusive writing community supporting you every step of the way.
Come hang out with us!
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