not very mindful

Let’s me set the scene:

The date is August 2nd, 2024. TikToker Jools Lebron posts a video and utters the words, “Very demure. Very Cutesy. Very mindful.”

And just like that, demure is the moment. It’s inescapable. Everyone and everything? Demure.

But the true significance of this trend is found in the definition of the word:

De•mure
reserved, modest, and shy (typically used of a woman).

Demure isn’t just a word—it’s a rubric for the assignment of femininity of which women are silently evaluated. But something special happened when Jools, a trans woman, popularized the phrase; she reclaimed the term, offering a new and de-weaponized definition of the word that celebrated femininity in its many forms.

Activist and filmmaker Leo Herrera said it best:

It was an uplifting and fun story, until marketers arrived on the scene.

Repetitive email subject lines flooded our inboxes insisting that you too can be demure, mindful, and cutesy—if you buy this shirt, open this TFSA, or buy this lipstick.

Paid ads of glazed donuts with the caption: very demure.

Now, did everyone blow it? Surprisingly, no!

Jools was very on board to partner with brands to create content that honored the origins of the trend, didn't butcher the vibes, and importantly— paid the creator for her genius.

The standout is K18, a hair brand that partnered with Jools early in the trend's upswing. The video has 168k likes, 3k saves, and comments from icons like Julia Fox. It's clear by the video that they let Jools run with the script, so the result fits perfectly with the trend.

But, let's be real here, the vast majority of companies did not crush it. As soon as brands decided to participate en masse, this micro-trend lost its sparkle.

It took just 10 days for demure to grip the culture and then begin its descent into cringe territory. This trend that began as a powerful reclamation of a traditionally disempowering term, was now co-opted by brands that saw it as a way to announce relevance while selling products.

They didn’t get the significance because they didn’t do their research. With the urgency to hop on the trend, marketers forgot one of the golden rules of marketing:

Discernment.

So, what can you do when they feel tempted by the next big trend?

Look closely at the content you've created, and then make sure it checks these boxes:

🔲 You've researched the trend thoroughly, and you could explain it to a grade schooler

🔲  It’s brand-aligned

🔲 It’s relevant to your target audience

🔲 It feels authentic and genuine

🔲 It supports your overall messaging

🔲 If you are you a big brand with budget— you've reached out to the creator or their team to build a quick partnership to leverage the trend and pay them directly

🔲 It won’t piss people off

Did you check a box? Don't do it. No one loses by deciding not to take part in a trend.

And even though marketers using demure is so over, we’ll be over here cheering on Jools. She deserves to (continue to) get her bag.

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